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Tuesday, November 27, 2012


I'm tired.

I'm losing myself more and more each day. My anxiety is rearing its ugly head once more and I feel like history is about to repeat itself. Nothing in particular seems to be the cause. I'm just jittery in general.

I'm tired.

Can't I just be happy? Anxiety free? Mentally stable? Why do I have to have up days and down days? Why can't it just be a day?

I'm not complaining. I'm just questioning what has become of my life. It's calm yet emotionally hectic. I don't know what I feel anymore. What am I supposed to feel so that I'm normal? I can't decipher feelings unless it's really happy or really angry/sad. Otherwise, I'm just here. In between. Waiting for the next up or down to come.

I'm tired.

I feel so unstable and I probably am. This does suck and I wish I could be in control of this mess. I don't know exactly how I feel. Am I happy? Sad? Bleh? Mad? What am I feeling? I don't want to feel a mixture of all of those to the point where I'm confused.

I'm tired of all of this. I only want to go back to being me. This *waves hands dramatically in front of self* is not me.


Maybe it is the new me. Maybe I'm going to have to get use to this person. I don't like this person at all though. Not one bit and I'm tired of trying to figure all of this out. I can't wait for therapy day again.

I'm just tired of everything.

1 comment:

  1. So sorry you are experiencing those feelings. You are you, always. Life and troubles seem to come in cycles and waves, hang on till the next good wave comes, it will, you've been through this enough to know that now, too. Everyone has times of feeling like this, it's not just you. And always remember that you are doing the best you can, and that you are loved, not just by me, but by many.


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