AHHHHHHH!
That's how I feel right now. (I attempted to spell "right" as "write" and then "rite". Sigh) That just proves my point, doesn't it? I need a break from a lot of things.
School.
Family.
Life.
I haven't done anything fun in a rather long time. Here's what my schedule has been like: School. Appointments, if I have any. Homework. Work. Repeat. Repeat. And, you guessed it! Repeat! That's my life and I'm close to a breaking point.
I'm thinking about quitting my job. I work every weekend and go to school every week. If I'm off at school (break/holiday) and they know it, I'm working. I don't know how much longer I can handle that. Friday is the only free day I have and I spend that writing, if I can. I get two days off from school for Thanksgiving and it looks like I'll be working then as well. I know I'm working Thanksgiving some, but not sure yet about Black Friday.
I'm not even looking forward to Charleston anymore because it's like one more thing on my list of things to do. Nothing is fun anymore. It's all work and no play. I'm sorry, but I'm eighteen and I need some play time!
Then there's the family. Good lord. I can't seem to get along with my Momma. We don't agree on anything. It's so frustrating and I'm getting sick of it. I want one good day. I couldn't even enjoy therapy the other day and I hadn't gone in a couple weeks. WTF! Therapy has always been my escape, but it's just one more chore now.
I'm whining, I know. I appreciate everything I have in my life, I really do, but DAMN! My fuse has grown pretty short and it likes to ignite frequently before extinguishing, never exploding, but coming soclose to doing so. It's infuriating.
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm at my wits end. This isn't something new, y'all. This has been in the works for a year, starting back to when I couldn't cherish sitting down with a good book as much as I did before. It's the simple things in life that we cherish, correct? Well, I can't seem to enjoy things I once did. It's those little things that have led to this. I've just finally reached my end and I've no clue what to do about it.
Yeah. This post totally didn't make me feel better. :p
Are you able to stop working for a while? School and writing are two full-time jobs! You're right, you're 18. Cut yourself a little slack :)
ReplyDeleteThing is, no one sees writing as a job. -_- I can't stop working without a doctor's note. As far as I know of, anyway.
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